A list of the best songs in the history of anything:  “Flower”, by Eels.  “Quit Touching My Ass” by Souvaris.  “When the Saints Go Marching In”.

No – wait – a list of the best songs, today:  “Broadway Lullaby”, as sung by the Pasadena Roof Orchestra.  “Kortisin”, by Plaid.  “Do I Move You?” by Nina Simone.

Hang on:  a list of the best songs to rock out to:  “Hand or Finger?” – Souvaris.  “The Immigrant Song” – Led Zeppelin.  84-minute epic grunge-rock monster “Dopesmoker”, by Sleep – reportedly (though how this is gauged is anyone’s guess) the heaviest track ever recorded, and definitely the silliest.

Notice a little contradiction creeping in?  Making a list of the best songs ever is like deciding what to have for breakfast.  Sometimes you’re in the mood for bacon and eggs; sometimes, you just want a bowl of cereal.  Bacon and eggs certainly isn’t the right breakfast for someone about to run a marathon.  And a list of the best songs ever to relax to sure as heck fire ain’t gonna contain Dalek’s doom-laden audio holocaust “Images of .44 Casings”.

On the other hand, making a list of the best songs ever for whatever it is you want to make a list of the best songs ever for is one of the most rewarding and enjoyable pastimes a person can indulge in.  Take a rainy afternoon, your internet connection and a feeling.  Today, I’m going to make list of the best songs ever to have a bath to.  Track 1:  “In the Bath” by Lemon Jelly.  And so on….  Making a list of the best songs ever lets you rediscover your music collection.  Making a list of the best songs ever gets you feverishly searching the internet for…what was the name of that song?  You know, the one we heard 12 years ago in a club somewhere….

Best of all, making a list of the best songs ever lets you get in touch with the things in your life you really like doing – if you’re making a list of the best songs ever to run to, chances are you’re doing it because you like running.  So next time you’re making a list of the best songs ever for – whatever, take a minute to stop and think about what that whatever might be.  It’ll be something important.